May 22nd, 2006
Look On the Bright Side
A bunch of years ago, I was made aware of a personality trait I’ve since realized a lot of women share. I began teaching at a business college and I received my first in-classroom evaluation. The comments of my supervisor were, if not enthusiastic, certainly strongly positive. The only remark that could possibly have been construed as a criticism was a sentence that read something like, “While not dynamic, Amy is very effective in the classroom.” And I drove home that day nearly suicidally depressed because I had FAILED. I was NOT DYNAMIC. It took a while, and some interventions by loving but frustrated friends, before I woke up to the fact that I was completely focusing on the area where I fell short and ignoring the many compliments that filled that evaluation.
I’m still doing that, apparently. While I was re-creating this weekend, it occurred to me that I’ve devoted an incredible amount of head, heart and soul space to the women in cyberspace who disagree with what I write, while practically ignoring the very many wonderful emails that I receive, almost daily. So, in the interest of reminding myself why I do this, and who I’m doing it for, I’m going to treat y’all to a sampling (in no particular order) of inbox Amy-love. And this is not even counting comments from personal friends and beloveds like YL, Kya and Sunflower! If I’ve happened to overlook your comment, please believe that it meant as much to me as did these which I have included.
From Laurie P.: “I just wanted you to know how much I enjoy reading your essays on your blog, and that you had a (silent) fan pre-Southwest Airlines rant :)”
From Kate J.: Subject: You write very well. “Thanks for the Southwest Airlines article. I, too, wonder why the “choice” to be fat is treated as a crime when the choice to jump out of airplanes or off of bridges is lauded as brave.”
From Jodie D.: “A friend sent me a link to your blog and I very much enjoyed reading through a few of your more recent posts. Your blog is very thoughtful and thought provoking…Thanks for tickling my brain into activity today.”
From Jeanne K: “Your purple washcloth is fabulous-that’s a *beautiful* shade of purple!…Your post on separatism really got to me. It was powerful and you were right.”
From Kim: “Thanks for this kick-ass post.”
From jared: “i just wanted to say that i really, really loved your post. i’m still on a marked learning curve and making baby steps, but when i read your blog i just get a huge burst of gumption to take a flying leap! you really make me think more deeply about stuff and you really inspire me on a lot of levels so i just wanted to say thanks. thanks! xoxo”
From Jeanne K: Amy, I love you. That is just the best piece on radical feminism. Since I’m new to the area, I don’t yet have the tools to argue with people. I find the racism charges so painful, and your post was such an eloquent summary of what rad fem is, what matters, and history of what women have been fighting for. You are wonderful.”
From Amber: “I’d love for some of my friends to be reading you! Especially your radical feminist blog you put up today. GOOD STUFF.”
From Kathy: “thanks, amy, for the amazing post. it informed and inspired not only me, but at least 5 other women. we are going to start meeting periodically for discussion of rad fem readings. i hope the group will form the beginning of a radical feminist community here, and that it will grow. i will let you know.”
From v: “i loved this post. i think its right on.”
From J: “thanks to your blogging I decided to write one of my papers in my english composition class about weight discrimination. Little did I know, when we turned them in, they got passed around class! I was embarrassed at first, but I think it’s something that people don’t hear much about - they take for granted that they can make fun of overweight people, because most of us, I think, are too scared and ashamed to stand up for ourselves. I guess I was doing some fat activism without meaning to!”
From Jeanne K: “Your blog is so important. Your writings on being fat and how society treats fat people hit me right between the eyes. I hadn’t realized how much I’d internalized that garbage, but you woke me up, and I’m very grateful for it. Now I’m mad as hell about it, and that’s a much healthier place to be. I also really appreciated the post on Lesbian Separatism. I didn’t have a good understanding of what separatism was all about…It’s great to get a post like that which clearly explains things. Your blog is extremely informative and well written…Anyway, the bottom line is that I wanted to chime in and say how much your writing is appreciated, and how much it means to me…I’m sure that there’s a lot of us who love your blog but haven’t said anything.”
From Kim: “Your blog doesn’t allow Comments? So just wanted to leave you a big ‘dig your blog and REALLY love your other site–which I only just found!’ comment via email!”
From Amber: “I couldn’t quite think of how to describe the post that I found so incredible 9 or 10 (7 or 8?) months ago when I read it. I just remember reading it and thinking, “Damn, this woman knows of what she speaks.” So anyhow, I figured I’ll just peruse the archives, skim the posts, and certainly the singular brilliant post will make itself known to me. So tonight I sat my butt down and started perusing. And hizah! The first post I skimmed was brilliant so I read the whole thing thoroughly. And it was so, so good. But it wasn’t the one I remembered. So I skimmed another and THAT post was a brilliant post. Except it wasn’t the one I remembered either. So I skimmed/read another and another and another until I had read every single post you have made since what, 2004? And after all that I STILL can’t remember which one I was initially looking for but it doesn’t half matter because you are brilliant and all of your posts speak to me. I wish I could write so well!”
So here’s to all of you who’ve taken the time to write me over the last few months and express your appreciation (raising slushie mug of cranberry lemonade to you). I appreciate your appreciation, even if we don’t always agree on everything. I love the fact that you all are thinking and talking and writing about feminism and I hope you keep it up! I’m honored to be in your company.
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For those of you unfamiliar with this postcard, sent to me by the intrepid and darling YL, it reads, “Feminism encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians.” Pat Robertson, 1992.
