What’s depressing me lately

Call me petty. Go ahead. These are tidbits gleaned from the writings of women who, for the most part, otherwise provide some serious patriarchal ass-kicking. And yet, I read things like this, and my heart sinks, and I think, “Yep, there I go being marginalized by feminists. Yep, there it is again.” And I sink deeper into the quagmire of gloom and doom that is being a lesbian feminist separatist in a patriarchal world. Because, sisters, what do we got if we don’t got each others’ backs?
1.
unless she chooses by default to operate like a man (ie, not bear children)

Well thanks for saying it right out there, that those of us who choose not to have kids aren’t real women. I’m here to tell you, there is nothing about my child-free state that is remotely similar to manhood in patriarchy, up to and including my relegation to the pink-collar ghetto despite my hard-won master’s degree. Radical feminists and separatists who critique motherhood are always criticized for being “divisive”–but yet where is the respect for (or even an awareness of the value of) our decision to resist one of the primary ways women are oppressed? Nah, we’re just “operating like men.”

2. Why should you have to look like a man to be perceived as tough and powerful?

And here we go again with the assumption that “looking like a man” or “looking like a woman” means anything outside of patriarchal categories. News flash: Comfortable clothes, like flannel shirts, jeans, and boots, don’t make one “look like a man.” They make one look like a human. I can’t help it if men have arrogated to themselves any clothing that is comfortable, practical, sturdy, and conserving of body heat–that doesn’t make them right, particularly if your purpose in the world is instrumental rather than ornamental. Would you really like to cut brush or bring in a load of firewood in this–which, of course, is the epitome of what “looking like a woman” means in this culture? It’s feminism 101, folks, that the objects and behaviors that define “looking like a woman” are about restricting women’s freedom of movement and making us into objects for display–thereby, by definition, inhibiting our toughness and power. So could we please just stop using “looking like a man” or “looking like a woman” as though they mean something in a feminist universe? The accusation of “looking like a man” or failing to “look like a woman” is so often used to persecute women, particularly lesbians, that it has no credibility whatsoever in a feminist context.

3. To me, boycotting something is not an effective or particularly impressive form of activism because it rarely, if ever, is successful unless it is organized on a massive scale.

It makes me so sad when activists conclude that certain tactics are ineffective, rather than identifying the problem as the lack of a mass movement in this country, on anything. I mean, have you not heard of history? Hint: Google “Montgomery Alabama bus boycott.” Please, please could we feminists stop with this “our personal choices are meaningless” bullshit? What is a movement made of if not a buttload of individual people deciding that resisting injustice is more important than what’s easy or comfortable? Seriously, if you don’t think our choices matter–if you don’t think the system is maintained in part by millions of tiny daily decisions to conform–what exactly is your strategy for getting women free? And on a personal level, what are you going to say in 50 years* to that dewy-eyed young person who asks, “But why didn’t you all stop global warming/racism/war/pornography/deforestation/sweatshops?” Will you feel that great about saying, “Well, I didn’t do the right that was in my power to do, because I didn’t think it would be successful unless it was organized on a massive scale?” Wouldn’t you rather be able to give them a quick lesson in resistance by detailing all the things you did do to work for justice?

4. All the hoo-hah over public breastfeeding, of which this is a hilarous and well-written example. Since, as we learned above, I’m “operating like a man” by failing to reproduce, my breasts aren’t likely to see the light of day for the purposes of infant nourishment. Strange, though, how I still like to take my shirt off when it’s hot out! Despite how much I hear about how great is “personal choice” (unless it’s personal choice in the service of resistance, in which case it’s trivial, useless, and intended to make other women feel bad) I never hear anyone advocating for women’s “personal choice” to go shirtless in public–a choice men regularly exercise. So here’s a radical suggestion for the right-to-breastfeed movement–think about expanding your efforts to work for the freedom of all women. Campaign for the decriminalization of the female breast! This is a cause we all can rally around. The “sex-positives” would love the empowerful opportunity to “explore their sexuality” by exhibiting their pierced nipples 24/7. The landdykes and rural crunchy straight girls already go around topless all summer (when we’re not cutting brush or hauling firewood, that is). If breasts were not unjustly confined to the prison of blouses and brassieres, any woman could breastfeed anywhere, anytime, with impunity. Breasts would lose their status as a naughty sex fetish for men and take their rightful place as just another feature of human anatomy, like earlobes. Their individuality and diversity would become so obvious that the hegemony of the pornified Hollywood implant breast as the epitome of sexiness would be exposed** for the ridiculous lie that it is.

If the thought of squadrons of shirtless women taking to the streets to demonstrate for mammary liberation doesn’t cheer up a morose lesbian feminist separatist, then I don’t know what will.

_______
*Assuming any of us are around in 50 years, which I know is a big assumption.
**No pun intended.

Filed under: feminism as politics, graphics, lesbian feminism, satire by Amy's Brain Today